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Most people know this phenomenon intimately. Jessica was terrified to break up with him for a variety of reasons.

Was I crazy? She suspected that her parents were secretly saving for her wedding.

The fear and guilt ate away at her for over a year. Lombardo says that FOBU can have a negative impact on many different areas of our life: It can affect wiith work because this constant worry takes up a lot of your cognitive space. His departure date kept changing and Erin found herself being strung.

I was afraid of losing him because I was afraid I would never love anyone as much as I loved. And staying in a common-law relationship with someone for nine months longer than I should have broke me. Keep talking to the people who love you.

Make sure you maintain a great support network of friends and family. Nothing makes breaking up seem scarier than feeling completely isolated.

Try a reality check. Take time for. Lombardo recommends pursuing the things you love and focusing on your goals.

Search Sexy Chat How to break up with my girlfriend of 2 years

Try volunteering, a new hobby or taking a course. After the hurt of breaking up, Jessica was pleased to feel an enormous sense of relief.

She made the right choice. For Erin, lessons learned enabled her to break off another not-quite-right relationship a lot sooner.

And the difference, she says, was fewer hurt feelings all. Originally published June ; Updated November